Are we all psychologists ?
Jacques Philippe Leyens & Nathalie Scaillet
Spouses of happy marriages are who are constructively open about conflicts.
What should be interesting for everyone is to understand what is happening. To be an interested and motivated partner, who accepts to be wrong (as little as possible) as long as he keeps the scar.
The worst atrocities, active or PASSIVE, that we can or not commit according to the look which one carries on them (Good faith, good intention, legitimacy, …)
Do not confuse personality and attitude … my personality is who I am … and my attitude depends on who you are and how you do (Implicit Theory of Personality)
We over-estimate the personality (« trait ») and under-estimates the situation.
The fundamental error … based on the impression of having the info:
• Cognitive avarice: we like simplicity (unconscious or motivated)
• The opinion of people: « I have a friend » confirms all theories of humanity
• We confirm more than we disable
• The Pygmalion effect (and the stupid rats)
People do not know that they are wrong. Anyway, they put a range of strategies that make them feel right.