Ego: …. obstacle to healing the 5 wounds

Ego: …. obstacle to healing the 5 wounds

26 November 2017 coaching 0

Lise Bourbeau

Ego: The Greatest Obstacle to Healing the 5 Wounds

  • Rejection
  • Abandonment
  • Humiliation
  • Treason
  • Injustice


we can form an acrostic in French “trahi” which means “betrayed”

Some, not only experiment the same type of event several times in a lifetime, but must reincarnate one or more times in order to get to accept it completely … “Personal note: we can join … or not, to this approach of reincarnation … but in every cases we must remain open and this does not change the main purpose of the wounds as following.

Whatever we decide or not, what we do or not do, what we say or not, and even what we think and feel has consequences.

Even if you say to yourself: “I do not want to live this anymore“, it starts again. You must give yourself the right to repeat the same mistake or unpleasant experience several times before you have the will and courage to transform yourself. Why do not we understand the first time? because of our ego maintained by our beliefs.

There is a difference between accepting an experience and accepting yourself. Take the example of a girl who was rejected by her father because he wanted a boy. In such a case, to accept the experience is to give the right to his father to have desired a boy and to have rejected his daughter. Self-acceptance is, for this young girl, to give herself the right to blame her father and to forgive herself for having blamed him. There must be no judgment on one’s father and herself, only compassion and understanding for the part that suffers in each of them.

“Yes, I understand that the other has done so” is called “accept only experience”. Our ego does not want to admit that we act in the same way with others.

These masks are 5 in number and correspond to 5 major basic injuries experienced by humans.



For example, in the case where a person feels injustice following an event, she wears her rigid mask, she adopts the behavior of a rigid person.
Whoever “rejects” uses the expression “I do not want” whereas the one who “abandons” says rather “I can not”.

The role of a parent of the same sex is to teach us to love, to love ourself and to give love. The parent of the opposite sex teaches us to let ourselves be loved and to receive love.

It is the intensity of the injury that determines the thickness of the mask.

The dependant is the one of the 5 types who is best able to become a victim.

To create a mask is a necessity to protect yourself, to adapt to the family environment …

The inner injury can be compared to a physical injury that you have had on the hand for a long time, that you ignore and that you neglected to heal. You rather preferred to wear a glove to not see it. This glove is equivalent to the mask. Doing that you thought that you could pretend not to be hurt.

When someone takes your hand for love and you cry, “Ouch! you hurt me! You can imagine his surprise. Did he really want to hurt you? No, because if you suffer, it’s because you decided not to take care of your wound. The other is not responsible for your harm.

Knowing our wounds allows us to heal rather than change.

The will and decision to heal your wounds are the first steps towards compassion, patience and tolerance towards yourself.

It is important not to focus on the words used to identify wounds and masks. You can live an experience of rejection and feel betrayed, abandoned, .. It is not the experience that matters but what you feel about this experience.



wounds 1

There are no wicked people in this world but only sufferers. It’s not a matter of excusing them, but of learning to have compassion for these people.

We only wear our masks when we are afraid to suffer, to relive an injury.


To love unconditionally is to accept even if you do not agree and even if you do not understand the why of certain situations.

Realize that what you fear from others or what you reproach them for, you also do to them and to yourself


We go through 4 steps to create our wounds. Healing will be when you will be able to reverse these 4 steps starting with 4 °.

  1. To become aware of his mask (4. wear a mask)
  2. To feel the resistance to accept responsibility, preferring to blame others for suffering (3. blaming others)
  3. To provide the right to have suffered and to have blamed one of your parents (2. ignore his feelings and his anger against the other)
  4. To come back yourself, the mask falls. You accept that life is filled with experiences … (1. Refuse an experience)

To love yourself is to give you the right to sometimes hurt others by rejecting them, abandoning them, … you will also discover that the more you give yourself the right to betray, to humiliate, … the less you will do it! By giving you the right to do what you fear to live to the point of having created a mask or masks to protect you, it will be much easier for you to give the same right to others even if it wakes up your wounds.

If you recognize someone’s injury, you should not try to change it. But take advantage of it to develop your compassion.



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