Mental health based on Boris Cyrulnik & Al
Mental Health and the Hidden Cost of Relationships
When we talk about mental health, we often think of depression, anxiety, or trauma. But another crucial dimension lies in our relationships: the couple, the family, the workplace. These environments can foster growth and security, or, on the contrary, generate psychological abuse, domestic violence, and moral harassment.
Philippe Brenot: The Fragility of the Modern Couple
Psychiatrist Philippe Brenot reminds us that the modern couple is a recent invention, born in the 1970s with the rise of individualism, male/female equality, and the separation between fertility and sexuality. This shift gave birth to the “unit-couple”, independent of the extended family.
📊 Divorce rates illustrate this fragility: multiplied by four between 1960 and 2013, reaching 44% in 2011. Adultery remains a leading cause, reported in up to 43% of cases.
For a couple to be healthy, two conditions are essential:
Psychological maturity, overcoming childhood wounds and conflicts.
Erotic maturity, the ability to engage in a fulfilling sexual relationship.
Without this, one partner often becomes the scapegoat, the receptacle of continuous tension. The modern couple can itself become a pathogenic structure, locked in compulsions, misunderstandings, and unbalanced codes of communication (men’s vs women’s “languages”).
In today’s context, reinventing the couple is vital. Without this reinvention, conflicts too often lead to separation.
Roland Coutanceau: Words That Hurt More Than Blows
Psychiatrist Roland Coutanceau highlights a crucial but often overlooked reality: psychological abuse can be more devastating than physical violence.
Victims of domestic violence frequently report that insults, humiliation, and verbal harassment leave deeper scars than physical blows. Words can annihilate self-worth and dignity, especially when expressed in public.
👉 Physical violence is often only the visible tip of the iceberg. Beneath it lies a sea of emotional abuse that destroys the psyche silently.
And it concerns both genders. Although women are the majority of victims, studies show that men also suffer: in Canada (1997), 12% of reported domestic violence victims were men. Yet, men face societal denial, as weakness and vulnerability clash with cultural expectations of masculinity.
Moral Harassment at Work: The Invisible Violence
Workplace harassment — or moral harassment — is another form of invisible violence with severe mental health consequences.
French labor law defines it as:
“A set of repeated actions, the object or effect of which is the deterioration of working conditions, likely to affect an employee’s rights and dignity, impair their physical or mental health, or compromise their professional future.”
Common forms include:
Isolation and refusal of communication,
Interference with professional tasks,
Personal attacks undermining dignity,
Intimidation and pressure tactics.
The result? Increased stress, depression, burnout, and a toxic workplace culture that impacts both employees and organizations.
Invisible Violence: Why Awareness Matters
From the modern couple to the professional world, invisible violence is everywhere. It leaves no visible marks but corrodes self-esteem, health, and relationships.
Key takeaways:
Domestic violence is not only physical — psychological abuse is equally destructive.
Men can also be victims, though their suffering is often ignored.
Workplace harassment undermines productivity and well-being, requiring urgent recognition.
Mental health awareness is the first step: naming these invisible violences allows healing and prevention.
Conclusion: Protecting Mental Health in All Relationships
Mental health and society are inseparable. Couples, families, and workplaces are not neutral: they can build resilience or trigger suffering.
To protect well-being, we must:
Reinvent couple dynamics with more maturity and balance,
Recognize that words can hurt as much as blows,
Actively fight workplace harassment and invisible violence.
By raising awareness and training professionals, we give ourselves the tools to create healthier relationships, stronger individuals, and a more resilient society.
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