NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) – Romilla Ready & Kate Burton – 2012
Introduction
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), created in the 1970s, has inspired many of today’s coaching and communication methods.
Neuro → our senses transform information into conscious and unconscious thought processes that influence emotions, physiology, and behavior.
Linguistic → words shape how we perceive and experience reality.
Programming → we can “reprogram” our patterns of thinking and acting to learn and grow.
Integrity in NLP
In practice, everyone influences everyone—politicians, marketers, friends, colleagues. The real question is: what is your intention?
With integrity and positive purpose, NLP becomes a tool for support.
Without it, it risks becoming manipulation.
NLP is not magic. It is simply a tool for change—helping us adopt flexibility, shift our perspective, and start by changing behaviors.
Core Principles of NLP
The map is not the territory
Your personal map of the world is not the objective truth. It is only your representation, filtered by perception.
Limited filters
Our brain processes only 5 to 9 elements at once. These pass through three filters:
Neurological → our senses.
Social → culture and norms.
Individual → personal history and beliefs.
Communication and Responsibility
The success of communication depends on how your message is received—not on your intention.
As a communicator, you are largely responsible for ensuring your message is clear.
Positive feedback strengthens trust. When something is wrong, say it—but say it positively.
People are more than their behavior
We often reduce people to what they do. NLP reminds us: a person is not their behavior. Separating the two allows us to give feedback without damaging relationships.
From Problems to Solutions
Too often, we focus on failures or blame others. NLP encourages us to:
Define what we truly want (not what we don’t want).
Use SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Acceptable, Realistic, Timed.
Focus on results instead of staying stuck in problems.
Why words matter
The unconscious struggles with negation. For example:
Say “I want to be rich” instead of “I don’t want to be poor.”
Otherwise, the unconscious may retain “I want to be poor.”
Senses and Perception: VAK
We perceive the world mainly through three channels:
Visual (images).
Auditory (words, sounds).
Kinesthetic (feelings, touch, movement).
Knowing which channel dominates in yourself—or your interlocutor—can improve communication.
Communication Beyond Words
Non-verbal cues dominate: Attitude, posture, and body language represent 55% of communication; voice tone 38%; actual words only 7%.
Synchrony and mimicry (gestures, tone, breathing) help build rapport.
Replace “but” with “and.” The word “but” erases what comes before it; “and” keeps the positive part alive.
Releasing Limits
NLP techniques help release:
Negative emotions.
Limiting beliefs and decisions.
Robert Dilts formalized the model of logical levels, widely used in NLP. A “third generation” of NLP is now emerging, focusing more on group and collective transformation than on individual change alone.
Conclusion
NLP remains a powerful tool for communication and personal growth. By:
Understanding that the map is not the territory.
Taking responsibility for how messages are received.
Setting clear, positive goals.
Using body language and rapport.
👉 We can change not only the way we see the world, but also the way we interact with others—and ultimately, the way we live.
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