Loves hurt us based on Patricia Delahaie – 2001
Can love be too big, too strong?
Yes, love can sometimes overflow, not by its nature, but by the way we give it. Love hurts when we offer it to someone who does not care, who pretends not to notice, or who is simply unable to receive it.
The problem is rarely about loving too much — it’s often about loving too fast, without discernment, without caution, without the patience to see if the other person is truly ready to share this feeling.
Real love grows on complicity, on the joy of being together, on the shared pleasure of small moments. It is not the speed of the flame that matters, but its ability to last.
Do not dream too far… without the other
“I love you here and now.”
For some, these words are a present declaration of affection. But for others, “I love you” sounds like a promise of eternity, a commitment as heavy as marriage. The misunderstanding begins here: the same words do not always have the same weight.
When we fall in love with someone who does not know how to love — or who cannot love in a balanced way — the suffering is deep and confusing. We are touched by their inner wounds, their fragility, their unhappiness. And that’s why leaving them becomes so hard: we confuse compassion with love, rescue with affection.
Suddenly, nothing seems logical anymore:
Why do I stay when I suffer so much?
Why do I excuse behaviors I would never accept from someone else?
Why do I hope for change when nothing really changes?
The trap of over-analysis
When love hurts, we often fall into the trap of endless analysis: we want to understand, explain, justify. But love cannot always be dissected.
The more we brood, the more we exhaust ourselves. The more we seek reasons, the more we move away from what is essential: the truth of our feelings and the reality of the relationship.
Sometimes, the healthiest step is to stop waiting, to stop projecting, to stop demanding. Expect nothing… and life may surprise you.
What to remember
Love is not dangerous when it is shared, reciprocal, and lived in respect.
It becomes destructive when it feeds on imbalance, illusion, or dependence.
To protect ourselves, we must learn to love with awareness: to love in the present, without confusing desire with reality, compassion with attachment, or hope with certainty.
True love does not blind us. It enlightens us.
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