Are we all psychologists ? based on Jacques-Philippe Leyens & Nathalie Scaillet
Happy couples are not those without conflict, but those who remain constructively open when disagreements arise.
What truly matters is the willingness to understand what is happening in the relationship: being engaged, motivated, and ready to admit mistakes—without holding on to the scars.
The Fine Line Between Atrocities and Intentions
The worst acts—whether active or passive—are often judged through the lens of perception. Their interpretation depends on the meaning we give them: good faith, good intentions, or perceived legitimacy.
Personality vs. Attitude
It is crucial not to confuse personality and attitude:
Personality is who I am.
Attitude is how I respond to who you are and to what you do.
This links directly to the Implicit Theory of Personality, where people often make assumptions about others without distinguishing between enduring traits and situational behaviors.
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The Fundamental Attribution Error
We tend to overestimate personality traits and underestimate situational factors. This bias, known as the fundamental attribution error, gives us the illusion of understanding others. Several mechanisms reinforce it:
Cognitive laziness: we prefer simple explanations, whether unconsciously or by choice.
Anecdotal reasoning: “I have a friend who…” is often used to justify sweeping generalizations.
Confirmation bias: we seek evidence that supports our beliefs rather than disproves them.
The Pygmalion effect: expectations shape outcomes, just as “smart” rats performed better simply because researchers believed they would.
Why We Insist on Being Right
Most people are unaware when they are wrong. Yet they unconsciously deploy a range of self-justification strategies to preserve the comforting belief that they are right.
Are we psychologists ?
✨ In the end, we all play at being psychologists—interpreting, judging, and attributing motives—without always realizing how biased our perceptions truly are.
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