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Thai dating
It’s no secret that a lot of foreign men come to Thailand to date Thai women. Based on that some people assume the dating scene here must be all foreign men dating younger Thai women (often with financial transactions involved. To be sure there is some of that, but the dating and relationship scene is Thailand is as varied and vibrant as you’ll find anywhere in the world.
Keep reading to learn all about sex, love, and relationships in Thailand.
Pixabay – demons
Online thai dating
Unsurprisingly, in the modern era, one of the best ways to launch yourself into the Thai dating scene is to investigate the world of online dating and download a couple of reputable apps. Whether you’re looking for friendship, something casual, or a serious long-term relationship, online dating in Thailand can be worthwhile and rewarding.
As in any country, online dating in Thailand comes with its risks. People might not always be who or what they say they are on their profile or during initial chats. Never agree to send money to someone before meeting them, arrange your first date in a public place, and be sure to tell a friend or family member where you’ll be.
There are numerous dating sites and apps. There are two legacy dating websites that still get plenty of users and traffic. These are Thai Friendly and Thai Cupid. Thai Friendly is very limited in functionality on the free plan, and Thai Cupid you can only really use if you upgrade. Both are free for women to use — only men must pay to upgrade. Both also have apps for Android and iPhone.
Swipe dating apps
The newer swipe dating apps mentioned below have taken much of the wind out of the sails of those websites, but there are still plenty of Thai women using them. We would say that the websites mentioned above are better for older men looking for serious relationships. The constant swipe right and swipe left of the apps isn’t for everybody, and actually being able to browse profiles and write more about yourself works better for a lot of people.
The dating apps Tinder and Bumble have taken over much of the online dating scene in Thailand. If you’re here and you’re single, these are the two to use. Bumble is popular in Bangkok but used throughout the country. Tinder is ubiquitous everywhere.
Pro tip: On upgraded plans on Tinder and Bumble you can set a location even if you aren’t currently there, so if you’re not in Thailand yet you can still browse by city and get to swiping. On both Thai Cupid and Thai Friendly, your current location doesn’t matter, and you can browse in any part of Thailand from any location in the world.
Badoo, Okcupid and Locanto are also famous solution in Thailand.
Keep in mind, that a common social media (the most popular messaging app in Japan, Taiwan, Indonesia and Thailand) is the Line platform in addition to the usual TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. Very similar to WhatsApp, the advantage of Line, outside numerous emojis and stickers, is that you can contact other people without to share your cell phone number.
Sex workers
The elephant in the room in this whole conversation is sex work and prostitution. While technically illegal, it’s widespread in Thailand, and it creeps into the dating scene in all sorts of ways. Pretty much anywhere a man might be looking for a woman, he might also find sex workers.
This or course includes all the different red light bar types but also goes for nightclubs and regular bars as well. Dating apps and websites also have some professionals working on them. Just don’t assume every woman you meet here is a sex worker because it’s not true. And if you do think that you’ll drive off every normal woman (ironically, confirming your incorrect belief in your mind).
A lot of foreign men end up dating and even marrying women they met in one form of sex work or another. This is very often a bad idea, but there are success stories too.
Like with everything else, things are complex, and people have all sorts of motives and values. You don’t want to be the bitter old guy who thinks all women are the same. You also don’t want to be the naive newcomer who gets taken for a ride. Keep your head and your wits about you when dating in Thailand (or anywhere in the world, really).
About Thai women
One of the biggest differences between Thai women and many Western women is their deep commitment to their families. This is generally true across all the divides mentioned above. Culturally, it is expected that the children, and sometimes especially the daughters will take care of elder parents and grandparents.
It’s sometimes said that when you marry a Thai woman, you marry her whole family. This is often true. If those families are relatively poor it will usually be expected that a daughter who marries a foreigner will contribute more financially. This rubs a lot of foreigners in a bad way, and that’s compounded by the fact that many are duped into marriages where financial considerations masquerade as love. But that’s not always the case. A woman can offer a man true love and commitment, but still also expect him to help her take care of her family.
Thailand has beauty standards that are fairly different from what we have in the West. Women are seen as most desirable when they’re fair-skinned, taller, and have eye, nose, and jawline shapes more typical of Caucasian or Chinese women, among others. Thailand though has a lot of women who are short, darker skinned, have button noses. Attributes not really seen as desirable here but which are very appealing to most Western men.
Thailand also has a fairly rigid class structure. Men here don’t tend to date women (at least not as a primary partner) from lower educational or socio-economic positions than their own. Millions of Thai women from poorer families, are without high levels of education. But they do appeal to foreign men’s beauty standards. It explains why there seem to be so many attractive women here dating foreign men.
Not so black and white
Cheating is very common in many Thai relationships. This has always been the case for men. Thailand has a culture of men having mistresses called mia noi which translates as small wife. It’s hard to say if women have always cheated back, or if it’s a more modern reaction to the assumption that men will cheat anyway.
Thai culture tends to value non-confrontation and saving face over telling hard truths, and lying is often more acceptable than causing a scene. A lot of foreigners who come to Thailand are pretty weird. Many are alcoholics or just general misfits. Lots of them don’t fit in well in Thai culture, and many don’t try. This inevitably leads to clashes that sour the relationship. It’s obviously not only Thai men who cheat on women. Lots of foreigners come here and get sex crazed and also cheat on their partners.
Thai dating etiquette
In general, Thai dating etiquette centers around taking time to build up a long-lasting and respectful relationship. If someone likes you, they usually won’t want to rush things.
Although things are showing signs of change, tradition still rules some of the basics regarding Thai dating. For example, the man typically makes the first move by asking for the date in different-sex encounters. Men may also take the lead when planning where to go or what to do, although these are more frequently becoming joint decisions.
Dates in Thailand are typically friendly and relaxed but can be more formal and modest than in other countries. For example, there is rarely physical touching of any kind. It’s also possible that a woman dating a man may bring a chaperone to a first date, often a close friend.
However, there are key differences regarding greetings and body language. The standard Thai greeting is the wai, a gentle nod with the hands in front of the body praying. Embracing or cheek-kissing is not common in Thailand. The same goes for public displays of affection in general. Thai flirting can be as simple as eye contact, smiling, and polite laughing.
Keep cool
The Thai casual attitude to punctuality doesn’t extend to dates, so don’t keep someone waiting. The dress code is well-dressed and attractive, although it doesn’t have to be expensive. Personal hygiene is essential in Thailand. So don’t rush to a date straight from the gym or after a hard day of manual labor. Indeed, most Thais shower at least twice daily because of the heat and humidity.
The tell-tale sign that a relationship has become a big deal in Thailand is when someone wants to introduce their partner to their family. Another is becoming acquainted with the inner circle of friends. Once you’ve had a handful of dates with someone in Thailand, they might want to plan a group date with at least one other couple.
You can expect to meet a partner’s parents and other close family members relatively soon into the relationship. After this, family visits or trips out can happen frequently, depending on how close everyone lives to each other.
Thai culture in general
Thai culture places great value on respect, harmony, and enjoyment, with an emphasis on hierarchy and personal relationships. Here are some general observations to help understand how Thais approach relationships.
- Respect for authority – This is reflected in the use of formal titles and language.
- Hierarchy and seniority
- Politeness and saving face – Thais are extremely sensitive to avoiding embarrassment or loss of face, to themselves or others. This means that they may be hesitant to offer criticism or feedback.
- Indirect communication – Thai people prefer indirect communication. This is considered polite behavior. To express strong opinions, or to say ‘No’ directly could be considered rude.
- Loyalty and harmony – The concept of sanuk, or sabai sabai (that life should be fun, lighthearted and enjoyable) is important in Thai culture. This notion is often prioritized over individual ambition or competition.
- Work-life balance, and the value of family and relationships – Although Thai people work hard, they place a big priority on their personal lives.
- Gift-giving and hospitality – Thais are known for their hospitality and generosity. Gift-giving is common in many situations, including business meetings.
- Cooperation & respect
Buddhism influence
Nearly 95% of the 60 million inhabitants are Buddhists. To fully understand the intricacies of the Thai way of life, it is important to take stock of the profound influence of Buddhism on the population. This religious philosophy can be defined as an attitude towards daily life. Its concept is based on understanding the causes of suffering and the means to overcome it. The goal lies precisely in the elimination of suffering, which is achieved through meditation, therefore through frequent periods of reflection and intellectual isolation. To reach the supreme stage of bliss (nirvana), the believer must also accumulate in his life a maximum of spiritual values and “meritorious” acts (financing the construction or repair of a religious building, various offerings distributed to monks, etc.). The scrupulous observation of these principles should allow the Buddhist to be reborn in a better condition.
Since Buddhists will be reborn in another body after death and will retain the same soul, they can therefore, regardless of their age, engage in long-term projects. Thais thus maintain a notion of time that is completely different from that of Westerners.
The citizens of the Siamese kingdom claim to be Theravada Buddhism, or “Small Vehicle”, which is also practiced in Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Laos and Cambodia. This movement is opposed to Mahayana Buddhism, or “Greater Vehicle”, which mainly affects China, Korea, Vietnam and northern India. Without going into doctrinal subtleties, we can summarize the difference between the two movements by saying that the “Small Vehicle” advocates detachment from an individual perspective (everyone is responsible for his or her own salvation), while the “Greater Vehicle” advocates collective action.
Harmony through the ages
Thais remain firmly convinced of the moral force of Buddhism. Its values have a sacred character and represent the essential reference in the life of the country. It is unthinkable that an inhabitant of the kingdom would start to contest this spiritual current. Buddhism draws its power from the fact that it is not imposed on citizens and that it is never exploited for partisan ends. Buddhism has not led crusades, holy wars, or large-scale proselytism. It has simply established itself through its message of inner peace. Omnipresent in the lives of citizens, Buddhism also integrates the belief in spirits and genies (of forests, mountains, rivers, etc.) which are supposed to have protective powers.
The spiritual homogeneity of the territory constitutes for Thais a source of great pride. It gives them a certain advantage over neighboring states. This feeling of superiority is reinforced by another privilege. The Siamese kingdom is the only country in Southeast Asia never to have been colonized. The strong adherence of the population to the same Buddhist faith has thus built a national ethic whose values remain scrupulously preserved by the king.
1st visit in Thailand, keep in mind
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- Check your vaccinations (DTP, MMR). If you are staying in the city, your standard vaccinations will be enough for you. Otherwise, if you are going to rural areas, it is advisable to get vaccinated against hepatitis A and B, typhoid and rabies.
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- Respect the entry and exit formalities. If you are staying less than 45 days, you do not need a visa (passport valid for more than 6 months). In case of medical treatment, check with the Thai embassy in France if your medication is subject to specific rules.
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- Avoid areas such as the south of Thailand (Pattani, Yala, etc.) or the border area with Burma (Myanmar). Beware of bad weather (the rainy season from April to November). Register on Ariane, from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, which will alert you by text message in the event of a problem.
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- Protect yourself against mosquitoes (Dengue, Zika, malaria circulate in Thailand). Wear loose, lightweight clothing impregnated with special textile repellent. Take preventive anti-malaria treatment if necessary.
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- Be careful with dogs or monkeys ready to steal what is in your bag. Most reptiles are harmless, however, remember 1669, the number for medical emergencies. And finally, the stonefish is the most venomous fish in the world.
- Follow the rule of “boil it, cook it, peel it or forget it”. Never drink tap water or a carafe and say no to ice cubes. Wash your hands well before each meal, especially with street food. Cross out rare meats, raw fish, shellfish and dairy products.
Simple tips
- Thai roads are among the most dangerous in the world.
- Chose good travel insurance.
- Do not criticize the king. It is a crime of lèse-majesté and can land you in prison.
- Do not take drugs. In Thailand, we do not joke.
- Do not sunbathe topless. In some places it can be very frowned upon.
- Do not wear your shoes in temples and even in houses.
- Avoid gestures of affection in public (kisses, …)
- Protect yourself. AIDS is very present.
- Never leave your passport as a deposit. Leave a photo of the passport.
- If you are a woman, do not touch the monks. It is forbidden.
- Electronic cigarettes, like smoking in public places is forbidden
- Finally, do not throw your waste on the ground, even a cigarette butt. The fine is 2,000 THB
Conclusion on Thai dating
Online dating will procure a lot of contacts. The main issue will be to distinguish people with a sincere motivation from people who are not what they say. It is true for western people as well as for Thai people. Moreover if Thai applications enable direct translation within a chat, a second issue will be too often thai women with a poor English level. This makes it more difficult to assess the right partner.
This is why a new trend is emerging. More and more people complete their profile with personality tests. Filling personality questionnaires will help you to make the difference. It will allow you to stand out from the 3 million singles on the Thaicupid platform.
We have our own questionnaires in French, English or Thai. Fill the form and share your results with your contact. Thanks to the reports, you can better identify the love motivations of your contact and feel more confidence to build a beautiful love story, to create a new book of your life.
Thailand has a unique culture and many aspects of dating and relationships here are unlike anywhere else. But things are also pretty universal, and a lot of advice for success here is fairly universal. Try to be a good partner, reciprocate, and give small gifts (Thai women love food, bring them food and they will love you).
Most of all, try to adapt to the culture, learn some Thai language, go with the flow, and Teerak, accept that your Western way of doing things is not always how things are done here.
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